Finding Balance
Longing for a sense of harmony in your life? We’ve got ways to help you do it.
By Debra Bokur
Life can be an overwhelming business, even on the best of days. In addition to the pressures of our jobs, personal relationships, concerns about the environment, and family obligations, we have to deal with constant headlines and news reports that can bring down even the most optimistic among us. Curing the problems of the world may take a little time—but who says we can’t begin the process by establishing a sense of balance within ourselves? Here, experts in fields ranging from yoga and health to travel and nutrition share their tips and advice.
Surround Yourself with Soothing Scents
Mindy Green, clinical aromatherapist for Aveda Research & Development, contends “Scent is a powerful tool to de-stress and regain daily balance. The simplest technique is to open a bottle of your favorite essential oil and inhale slowly; eyes closed and focus on the breath. The oil can be inhaled directly from the bottle or added to the bath for the ultimate relaxation treatment. Lavender is a great oil to be used; numerous studies have been conducted on the relaxation effects of lavender, so this technique is not only pleasant but has scientific evidence of its efficacy.”
Pick up a Pen
“To feel balance, you need clarity; a tool to bring you back to your calm center when life rolls around you like a tornado. Journaling can help you access a calm, wise place where you’re able to hear your own inner wisdom,” says Sandy Grason, author of Journalation: Journaling to Awaken Your Inner Voice, Heal Your Life, and Manifest Your Dreams (New World Library, 2005). “Use your journal as a place to dump stress and the overwhelming aspects of daily life.” Journals covered in gorgeous fabrics are easy to find these days. To begin a daily or weekly practice, simply jot down how you feel at that exact moment, and one or two significant events from your day. You’ll find the words flowing in no time.
Eat Better
Elizabeth Somer, M.A., R.D., author of such books as Food & Mood (Owl Books, 1999), reminds us of the connection between what we eat, how we feel, and how well we deal with stress. “Eat breakfast,” advises Somer. “People who eat breakfast have more energy, think [more] clearly, and are less prone to cravings—and are much less likely to overeat later in the day compared to breakfast skippers. A healthful breakfast only takes five minutes and is as simple as juice, fruit, and cereal.”
Declare Your Dreams Out Loud
An affirmation can be as simple as “I will find compassion and grace in all my interactions with others today.” Place a copy at your work station, in your kitchen, or in your car. If the day begins to spiral out of control, read your affirmation aloud, concentrating on how the right words can evoke a sense of power and control.
Tune In
Multi-platinum recording artist Hennie Bekker knows the restorative power of music, and how vibrations produced by sounds affect us on both a cellular and spiritual level—altering and influencing mood and our sense of well being. “Begin each day by listening to soothing music. Choose music that doesn’t intrude because of rapid melodic changes,” says Bekker. “Based on your own self-awareness of what state your mind and body are in, identify any areas that may be harboring tension, and focus on them, consciously sending relaxation there. During your commute, listen to music that has peaceful harmonies. When the driver behind you starts honking their horn or giving you the finger, the music will help you to regard them with compassion instead of responding in anger. Certain types of music possess an astonishing power to heal the body, mind, and spirit.”
Find Sanctuary
There’s really nothing like a long, hot soak to alter your view of the day. Turn off the ringer on your phone, and fill your tub with water that’s between 92 and 100 degrees. Add your favorite salts or oils—products containing essential oils of lavender, rose, clary sage, geranium, or ylang ylang are best for relaxation. While the tub fills, spend a few minutes dry brushing your skin with a natural fiber brush. Use short, brisk strokes along your arms, legs, chest, and back, always stroking toward the heart. Besides gently exfoliating your skin, dry brushing stimulates the lymphatic system. Light a few soy aromatherapy candles, fold a towel to place behind your head and neck, and slip into the water for up to thirty minutes of bliss.
Focus
Imbalance, says Colleen Deatsman, author of Inner Power: Six Techniques for Increased Energy & Self-Healing (Llewellyn Publishing, 2005), occurs when daily stresses scatter your personal energy. She offers this grounding exercise to replenish that energy. “Stand with your feet hip distance apart, arms down at your sides. Relax. Imagine yourself as a tree with roots growing out from your feet, going deep into the Earth. Feel the Earth energy pulsating. Draw this energy up through your legs into your torso, the trunk of your body’s tree. Feel Earth energy mingle with your personal energy. Now raise your hands, palms to the sky. Imagine your arms are branches gathering in the energy of the universe. Feel that energy come down into your trunk and mix with your personal and Earth energy. You are perfectly balanced with the Earth and the elements of your life. Breathe. Smile.”
Get Enough Sleep
Herb Joiner Bey, ND, author of The Healing Power of Flax (Freedom Press, 2005) and an adjunct professor in the naturopathic medicine curriculum at Bastyr University in Kenmore, Washington, stresses the importance of sleep. “Stress will be in your life,” he says. “How will you respond to it? The nervous system suffers when the body is under stress, which can be greatly exacerbated by lack of sleep. Electric lights have caused most people in Western civilizations to be sleep deprived—exposure to bright light interrupts the body’s natural rhythms, causing changes in blood chemistry that adversely affect the aging process. We no longer wake up with the sunrise and go to bed as the sun sets. Dimmer lights promote a mellower, quieter state of mind. Darken your room or wear an eye mask, avoid caffeine in the afternoon and evening, and concentrate on positive thoughts at bedtime. Don’t underestimate the effects of sleep deprivation.”
Give Yourself a Massage
“For people that are really busy, there can be a long period of time between spa visits,” says Amy McDonald, spa and program director at El Monte Sagrado Living Spa in Taos, New Mexico. By placing tennis balls under your back, in areas where you have a lot of tension, you can effectively give yourself a massage without any assistance. The area between the shoulder blades and lower back can become tight from sitting and working on a computer or standing for long periods of time. “It really is a preventative practice,” McDonald suggests, “just a few minutes every few days or once a week can be really helpful for those problem areas. Roll around to really work out the tight spots. When you finally do get a massage, you [won’t be] so locked up in that area—which makes it really difficult for the therapist to get in. Besides, getting down on the floor feels playful, I think we all need a little bit of that in our lives.”
Get Along with (Almost) Everyone
Stressful, tense relationships with friends, coworkers, family, and significant others can be a major source of disharmony in our lives. Life coach and relationship expert Becky Tirabassi, author of Keep the Change: Breaking Through to Permanent Transformation (Integrity Publishers, 2005) says it doesn’t need to be so. Tirabassi and her husband advocate the 3 A’s—Affirmation, Apology, and Affection. “Affirming a person immediately lowers defenses and allows both people to feel more open and safe while sharing,” explains Tirabassi, and “apologizing when you’ve caused unhappiness to someone else, whether at home or at work, helps to keep the air clear. Expressing affection—a hug or kiss for friends and family members, and a handshake or pat on the back for co-workers—can quickly bring down any remaining barriers.”
Remove Visible Signs of Stress
When our stress levels increase the importance we place on taking care of our skin diminishes. Unfortunately, our skin is the first place that signs of stress may appear. Melinda Minton, executive director of the Spa Association (SPAA) advises restoring balance to your skin with a simple steam. “Steaming helps to restore the skin’s natural balance by stimulating circulation and opening the pores.” Not only does steaming help to cleanse and nourish, it also, as Minton explains, helps return skin to a “soft, supple, and baby-fresh state.” She advises to purchase herbs that suit your skin (lavender or calendula for dry skin; chamomile or comfrey for sensitive skin; and grapefruit peel for oily skin). “Some herbs are hydrating and softening, others can be antibacterial and anti-inflammatory, while others are soothing and calming. Licorice root is an ideal choice for herbal steaming, no matter the skin type, because it helps refine the pores, soothes, hydrates, and conditions the skin.” Before steaming, wash your face; then add the herbs to a steaming pot of water. Place a towel over your head, and place your face over the bowl. Advises Minton, “Be sure to not get too close to the steam or it can make fine blood vessels break.” Steam for two to three minutes.
