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Johnson explained, “Women carry a deep unworthiness, whether it is from their personal life or on a collective level since we have carried the legacy of being second-class citizens. Even though we are stepping out of that in this culture, we still carry pain and hurt from not being seen, heard, and understood in our feminine essence.” Thus, many women have found it easier to be like men even though they experience a sense of deep resignation and frustration. Our assignment over the course of the retreat was to push through this imbalance and reclaim our natural beauty, radiance, and feminine power.
My first push happened in an exercise that invoved playfully dancing with the other women in the group.
As I danced, I felt inhibited, self-conscious, and heavy in my body. I blushed as I awkwardly moved around the room, fighting between wanting to let go and wanting to run away. Johnson, whose intuition is laser sharp, grabbed my hand and began to dance with me. She looked into my eyes with exquisite love and grace. I felt encouraged and gave myself permission to move my body. That evening before drifting off to sleep, I wrote in my journal that I could feel something inside of me shifting; I was not sure what it was, but I was anxious for my discovery.
We greeted the next morning, as we would each morning thereafter, with an hour-long moving mediation. By the time I reached the part of the meditation where I was sitting in silence, my thoughts had actually stopped. I had stepped out of my “doing” energy and was truly in my “being.”
But reclaiming the feminine takes more than meditation. Johnson and Markman assert, “Before we can truly embrace our femininity, we have to heal the blockages and allow the wounds to be felt, as this is a doorway to finding a reconnection to oneself.” Our doorway was a cathartic emotional release process. In this process, pillows, foam bats, and mattresses were available, and we were coached on how to physically tap into all our anger, rage, hurt, and sadness. As intense music began to play, I felt something animalistic come up inside me. I began to hit my foam bat against the wall and as I felt the smack ripple through my body, the bindings of my “together” and “polite” image began to unravel. My voice joined my body as I screamed and cried. I felt raw, yet completely safe.
After lunch, we embarked on a four-hour experiential exploration of different aspects of the female energy that exist within each of us. “A woman is made of many different parts —playful, strong, creative, sensual, reflective, peaceful, and wise. To ignore any of them is like dismissing a vital part of yourself,” said Johnson. Accompanied by a wonderful assortment of music, she guided us through our exploration. As I giggled and danced, I realized I was actually learning how to truly embody the many dimensions of feminine energy.
The true integration of everything I was learning at the Celebration of Woman workshop happened during a magical and sacred ritual, called an initiation. One by one each woman stands in the middle of a circle of her sisters and has the opportunity to move, dance, and express herself to music specifically selected for her by the facilitators.
During my initiation, I moved and danced in a way that ignited every single cell in my body. My arms and legs moved with wild abandon, my hips swiveled back and forth until I was tingling, shaking with power, filled with grace, and overcome with emotion. As my second song ended, I heard the other women cheering for me—and inside, I cheered for myself.
Now three months after the retreat, the metamorphosis I experienced has created lasting change in my life. My friendships with other women have become more intimate; I am more loving and vulnerable with my husband; my hormones are more balanced—and I got my period back. I am relieved to know that I do not have to give up my femininity to be powerful. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. By reconnecting with the feminine within me, I have become even more productive—but now it is balanced with sweetness, playfulness, and an awareness of what being a woman is really all about.
Celebration of Woman
Britta Johnson and Rajyo Markman, founders of Celebration of Woman, offer the following tips to find and celebrate the feminine in your everyday life:
1. A woman is present and in tune with herself. Begin your day with a 5–20 minute minute meditation dedicated to tuning into yourself. Let yourself really be present with the sights, sounds, smells, and body sensations that are with you in this moment. Take an inventory of how you are doing physically, emotionally, and mentally.
2. A woman is connected with the natural world. Get outside every day and feel the connection to everything that is alive. Look at the plants, stop and smell the flowers, feel the wind on your face, and walk barefoot in the grass.
3. A woman is alive and breathes. The more we breathe, the more we feel, and the more we are alive. Take seven cycles of deep, slow breaths several times throughout the day.
4. A woman loves to be pampered. At least once a week, plan something that you can indulge in such as a manicure, a massage, or a bubble bath.
5. A woman loves to play! Remember you have a little girl inside you and take her out to play. Go to the park and swing on the swings, buy a coloring book, or bake chocolate chip cookies.
6. A woman is sensual. Find a weekly physical activity that fosters your sensuality. Take a belly dance, tango or salsa class, or find another sensual way of moving your body. Feminine creatures love to dance!
7. A woman loves to feel sexy. Stop saving your nice lingerie. Wear something everyday that makes you feel sexy. If you are with a man, seduce him and dance for him once in a while!
8. A woman loves to be with her sisters. Make sure you spend at least a few hours a week with your girlfriends or join a women’s circle or club.
9. A woman allows herself to feel and express her feelings. If you are sad, take the time and space to have a good cry. If you are mad, have a little yell in your car or into a pillow. If you are happy, let yourself laugh out loud and celebrate!
10. A woman can be “messy” or unpredictable and still be feminine. Do something that brings a little mess into your life. Let yourself come out of that tight little box that your mind has you in and do something a little “crazy.” Surprise yourself and everyone around you!
For more information about Celebration of Woman visit www.celebrationofbeing.com
September/October 2008
